So When Was the First Time You Had Your First Ahh Haa Moment?

So when was the first time that you had your first ahhh-haaa moment that you knew you were something unique to this planet? And I might add that it might have presented itself many other times and you just didn't get “it”.

This was presented to me as the usual challenge from my teacher and friend Tamara. It didn't take long to recall the first event when it rally hit home that something was different with me as to how I perceived and walked this earth.

I had been living and working with a full blood Lakota Indian who claimed to be the War Chief of the Lakota nation. To say the least he was hard energy and we had a few episodes of not being on the same page. My confidence and self esteem were being undermined and I didn't like the feeling.

After two months we were invited to be a part of vision quest, one of the seven rites of the Lakota nation.

We loaded up separate vehicles and headed for the Black Hills. The Indian and his girlfriend went the south route and I took the lodge, food, wood and camping gear in his little truck. I headed though the Great Plains and all of the farming communities. This is where I grew up. These were my roots, and I began to get my strength back---I know who I am!

We had taken a trip to Bear Butte, South Dakota to do vision quest when things began to deteriorate rapidly. I was the fire keeper for the event and was plenty disgusted with his interaction with the people when the event was finished and felt that he had violated major principals of taking care of his people.

I personally had fired him on the mountain when I was there, having walked up to the top of one of the peaks, I sat there talking to the Creator about his being a lousy spiritual director I said to Wankantanka that as far as I was concerned the Indian as a spiritual director, he sucked and he was fired. What I asked for was a sign that my request was confirmed. Later that very afternoon my request was answered. We had a torrential downpour that threatened to drench the fire and wash the whole camp down the hill, now that’s validation.

After the camp broke and we all headed back to our respective homes of origin, I headed intuitively back to my parents home in Nebraska to recover and get grounded. Supper was already waiting for me with no pre phone call.

After a few days of rest and relaxation to reevaluate the last several days I reluctantly headed back to the North Carolina to finish the job. I knew that I had to go back. There was no running away from this, I had to go through it and finish this what ever the outcome.

While I was on my journey back I had time to reflect and had felt that what was done to the supporters was unconscionable. With my anger focused I directed my energy towards him and grabbed my staff.

“I rebuke you in the name of Christ, what you did was wrong and reprehensible, this shall not stand!” and with that I sent the energy.

Almost a week later, having restored my confidence and spent time with family in both Nebraska and Missouri I arrived back in North Carolina. As I walked into the house I was greeted by the Indian, his girlfriend and their pit bull. “You’re not sick”? “No, why would I be.” We haven't been able to be more than two steps away from the bathroom since we got back! All three of us; and you're not sick”!

A couple of days later his girlfriend came to me and asked, “Is this your doing”? My comment, “he screwed up, and yes this was my doing”.

A few days later they recovered and I went back to the hardware store to pick up some wood working equipment that he was supposed to have purchased for me before I returned and soon found out that not only had the machinery not been purchased but that the money had somehow disappeared; time to find out what happened.

My friend and I knew that something was brewing. The questions that I had called him about were going to stir something up, and it wasn't going to be good.

We had stopped off at my friend’s girlfriend's house to talk and reformulate a plan of action. I went outside. It was time to call in my support and to talk to Creator.

I drew the circle of the Medicine Wheel and stood in the center of the wheel. With all the strength that I could muster I called on my light tribe. “T---- I need your help, light me up. Tr--- I need your strength, light me up, An----- I need your power, light me up. And so I turned through the wheel, person by person I called their names and asked their help until I spoke to everyone in the circle. When I had finished I was completely surrounded by a powerful force that left me feeling completely protected.

I was feeling a least a foot or more off the ground. Just then my friend came outside. “What just happened, what did you just do?” My comment to him was,”I just called in my people.”
“Well,” he said, “I feel completely protected. “

And with that protection surrounding us we entered into the firestorm.

Written by Roger