The Rosicrucian

A few days before the December 11th accident I had received a phone call from a college friend. He had come back from Colorado to see his family and to see a psychic. As she was talking to him she pulled a name out of thin air - Tamara. She told him she needed to talk to me. He called me the next day I was the only Tamara that he knew. This was the man who had saved me the ill fated night in college. I had not talked to him in a couple of years. I had not talked to any one from college since shortly after I left. I still thank him in my prayers for his part in my life.

We talked briefly and he told me about the psychic in DeKalb, Illinois and he asked me would I go see her. I had been adamant about not going. I told him that I was very intuitive and that I felt that she might influence me in a negative way. I told him about an experience I had with a world renowned psychic who lived in the Peoria area. She had scared me with tales from my Grand Mother Dobbs and told me the woman, my grandmother hated me. That I should never go to a séance because my grandmother wanted to hurt my soul; and even though I believed that at that time it had freaked me out completely.

This particular psychic had pulled me out of a crowd, (something psychics and mediums would do many times over the years.) at the state fair. She had just found a dog that had bit a child. Many things this world renowned lady told me were wrong. She was right about not going to any séances at that time. I did not have the training to protect my self from lower energies. I would not learn protection for at least 15 years.

My friend was disappointed and he left it alone. Five months after the accident he calls again and before I could say any thing he said ‘Tamara I saw the psychic again and she insisted that I bring you to her. It has nothing to do with the car wreck and the truck.’ My jaw dropped and all my friend heard was silence, ‘Tamara are you still there?’

‘Oh shit!’ There was no way my friend or the lady in De-Kalb could know about the death defying accident. My friend started fast talking. Next thing I knew I agreed but with my rules, 'You have to come pick me up, take me to her and I don't want to be in the room by my self.’ This was unreasonable on my part because my friend was coming from Rockford, Illinois, to Morton Illinois, all the way up to De-Kalb, back to Morton and then back to Rockford. But he did it. He thought that there would be something in it for him in the end, sorry my friend, you were married by then and I had learned morals and integrity by the time the universe sent you on a mission to give me hope.

My friend drove for hours to pick me up and take me to Rockford. We talked about every thing including the man I had been engaged to after I left Illinois State. I was nervous. I asked him what this lady wanted from me. He did not know and was sure I had a lot to learn. I was so scared I asked that my friend join me. He really did not want to but she (the psychic) tolerated it. What she had to share with me was so profound that if the only way I was going to sit with her was having someone else with me she would accept it. She surprised me by being petite; her white hair and expressive eyes that saw my soul. She was gentle, kind and expressed pure joy that I was there.

The reading begins: She started off saying she was a Rosicrucian, she was a spiritual guide to the priest. And she had a lot of guidance to give me. I was confused. My first belief was priests do not get ‘readings.’ My second belief was weren't readings supposed to be wicked? I was psychic and I had premonitions. People thought I was a bit scary because of it. I knew stuff all the time. What did she know that I was missing? My apologies up front to this beautiful woman, I did not know people did this for a living and I had no idea people paid for ‘readings’; I know when you miraculously came back into my life more than a decade later I made up for my ignorance.

She then began with a prayer and a blessing. She began telling me things like... ‘Tamara you are a very old soul and even being a very old soul you have lived just a few lives. You have been a monk, a priest, a priestess, a nun, or a hermit most of those lives. You have only had children three life times. This life time you will have children. You won't have children until around your 35th year (she was wrong on this one, I had a pregnancy terminated for health reasons and a whole lot of miscarriages). My friend laughed at the prospect that I had been a nun or any thing religious and celibate. I was described by many that knew me in college as wild. What he did not know was that I was fighting to keep my self from becoming ‘frigid’. No one except one psychologist knew how bad my past was, how low my self esteem was and how the year I met him I used men, including him, to get even for what had happened to me in my life. By the time I had met this psychic I had found what love could be like and what it was to lose that love; because I had no tools, or knowledge, on how to love appropriately and with appropriate boundaries. She corrected him and said ‘You have lived many lives and have sex with many partners. Until this lifetime Tamara has had only three.’ She laughed and said ‘she has made up for lost lifetimes and you’re the wild one.’ I felt pretty smug about that comment.

She then looked surprised. She said ‘You’re a Gemini; Gemini’s don't like getting their hands dirty. And still I see you using them. Oh My! You’re a healer.’ I told her that one of my nick names in college was Hands. It was part joke and part reality. If anyone had a headache or something that hurt they came to see me and I went to work fixing the problem. My Grand Mother Masters had taught me to get rid of headaches at age 4. I did not know then that I was a healer I just did what needed to be done. I had a deep compassion for those in pain.

She then got reflective and said ‘Tamara I see you standing at a podium there are thousands of people in front of you at least 60,000 people and you are sharing what you have learned this life time. I see books with your picture. I see 7 books. All of this will start around your 35 birthday.’

Then she just ranted off some facts that she saw. I have never had a reading since or done a reading since that was as accurate as what follows. ‘When you leave here you will find a piece of mail waiting on you. This will be an invite to somewhere very hot. Don't worry about the money for the trip it will just show up. From the trip your consciousness will be raised and I see you moving again somewhere hot this time, a lot of water. You will be moved by the first of October of this year. You and your friend here may never speak again after tonight.’ He was sitting right there and did not hear that part.

When we got to my house my friend had made a very serious blunder, he was married and he wanted to have sex. Even in my wild days I did not mess with men who had commitments. We pissed each other off to the max. He was pissed he had gone to all that bother and I would not put out and I was pissed for his wife that he expected me to put out...grrrr. Anyway, on the counter in my kitchen was an envelope addressed to me from the INTA, International New Thought Association and they were inviting me to a conference in Dallas TX. My friend slept in the basement in our extra room and left the next morning never to be heard from again. I send you blessings and thank you for your role in my story.

Money came from somewhere and my mother and I went to the conference. It was 110 degrees in the shade! WOW, what I learned there was beyond belief! Much of what I teach now came from that experience. I came home with a new sense of restlessness, I was stuck and now it was time to move. My incredible brother and his awesome wife (I had been their match maker!) called from Bonita Springs, FL. They had just moved to FL a few months before. He Said ‘Hey Tamiami you got to come down here. There's this really long road named after you...you'll love it here!’ He had in the past occasionally called me Tamiami. Hmmm, I'm starting to see the psychic’s words come together

I asked if my beloved George would be coming back to me. She hedged around this answer; it boiled down to maybe many years down the road you might have a second chance. She said ‘You will find a job that will lead you to your true profession, you will meet a man that you have dreamt of since you were seven, you will meet a man who will say ‘Hey I have a glow in the dark Frisbee in my trunk, wanna go to the beach, get naked and play?' and you will meet your soul mate.’ Teaching, babies, wealth beyond my wildest dreams, traveling, books, happiness and fulfillment all starting at age 35.

I arrived in Bonita Springs, FL on October 3rd, my brother’s birthday. Within two weeks I had a job at the Ritz-Carlton, where I met a man who on our second date said ‘Hey I have a glow in the dark Frisbee wanna go play Frisbee naked on the beach?’ (that was a holy-shit moment!).

I then somehow thought all three men were in fact the one man. Opps!! In fact that moment cost me almost 5 years of my life and changed some of what was suppose to happen. Thank God the universe gives you second chances! I met two other men while I was with Mr. Frisbee.

When I was 7 years old I started having a dream about a tall, thin, dark haired man. We are on a blanket under a strange tree having a picnic, now I know it was a Banyan tree. I felt love and laughter when I had those dreams. They reoccurred until I met the man that I would marry and then divorce a couple of years later.

Mr. Ex was 7 years younger than I was. I loved him with all my heart unfortunately for him he came into my life as my husband my 35th. year. I lost two babies while being involved with him. It hurt us both. My father died days after our honeymoon. I had kidney stones (unshed tears), Mr. Ex had a cancer scare, I got pneumonia, he got pneumonia, I had miscarriage #2 with him and he went off to train people in NYC for several weeks. He never called and we never recovered as a couple. The next two years the universe emptied my cup and it was what I thought was hell. And then the angels started making there presence known.

And it started with a man who claimed to see angels.

By Tamara